Let me start by announcing the first official Tiki warrant out for the head of Nathanial Elsworth the 3rd. The crime: stolen PINK Unit tool. The Reward: 10 allen keys. Obviously he just stole it because he saw that it was pink and simply had to have it. As a matter of fact I don’t think I have ever seen Nate come in with a female…In other news we have sold 5 times as many longboards today then ACTUAL skateboards. If you traded in your actual set-up with limitless trick capabilities for one that only has 2 (carve left or carve right), my condolences, hopefully Tony Hawk will still let you into skate heaven (as seen in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, and make no mistake, is a real place).
DOOD, THERE IS SOME MOOSEJAW CATS KILLIN’ IT ON LONG BOARDS. LIKE FLIP TRICKS, VARIALS & SHYT.
THEY STILL LOOK LIKE HOMO’S DOIN’ IT THOUGH.
JUST FOR THE RECORD, MIKEY HUXTABLE HAS DONE THE ONLY KNOWN TRE-BOMB ON A LONG BOARD EVER IN HUMAN EXISTANCE. (drunk as shyt)