“Pair of hats?”

Having our store in a downtown location leaves us subject to all different sorts of people. Some come in, and are friendly. Some come in and are friendly, forget to close the door and then I stop being friendly. And then, there’s a small percentage of people who are so ridiculous that they’re almost legendary. Just the other day, I was fortunate enough to experience a legend gracing our store with his presence, and it went something like this.

The guy walked in, probably in his mid forties and I noticed he was staring at the shoe wall. I asked if there was any shoes he was interested in trying on, and he replied with “Yeah.. some shoe laces” in the most obscenly high, cracking, pitchy voice, that roughly sounded like a mix of violin and teenage puberty. So I then asked if he was just after a pair of shoe laces, and he replied “Do these shelves come off?”. I then paused for atleast five seconds, a little caught off guard by his question.

Me-”Uh…I’m not really sure man. Probably.”
Kook-”Oh. Do you own this place?”
Seeing an oppurtunity for a potentially awesome conversation, I said “Yeah man, I do”
Kook-”Ok. Who put that there?” as he points at the wall.
Me- “I really don’t know”
Kook-”Do you open this place? Close this place?”
Me-”Yep, just about everyday”
Kook-”Oh. Ok. Paint a mural.” I remember him saying this as if it was the most obivous thing in the world to do.
Me-”What?”
Kook-”Yeah. A mural. Right on that wall, big mural.”
Me-”Ok. I will.”

Then there was a break in the conversation where for a few minutes he wandered aimlessly around the store, not really looking at clothes but at the floors, all the racks and various walls. Hoping for some more interesting conversation I said “Is there anything else I can help you with man?”. He then walked back to the counter and started looking at the hat wall.
Me-”Alright, so your looking at a hat then?” I suggested, not really knowing what else to say.
Kook-”Yeah…like a pair of hats?”
Me-” A pair of hats?”
Kook-”Ok. Have a good day”

He then left. I’m still looking for a pair of hats, and I guess if this post has to have an overall message it would be to avoid crystal meth. Unless your planning on being a mural painter for shoe walls, because its working just swell for that guy.